Infuriated doesn't even BEGIN to describe it. I swear, I can't WAIT for these two years to go by so I can get the fuck away from this house.
As much as I love my mom, brother, and sister, it'll only be so long until calm, silent me bursts and I HURT somefuckingbody. I really just cannot deal with them anymore. Just 2 years. I'm about to start counting down to the FUCKING DAY I turn 18 and my ass is out of here. I must have all the patience in the world dealing with them all these years and still not setting off.
Hypocrites -- the whole lot of them.
Once before, I was angry that I'm the oldest, thus more is expected of my but now...I'm fucking glad I'm the oldest. That means I'll be free ASAP.
I was going to go to Michigan State University for college in two years, but now I feel even that's too close to my current home in New Jersey. I'll be packed even before I'm 18 and out the fucking house as soon I possible. I hope to get into an animation/art/game designing school in California, all the way on the other side of the country.
Maybe if I'm not grouchy, I'll come home for Christmas.
That's definitely not a positive.
There is just way too much here in this house for me to fuckin deal with. Not to mention my mom's forcing me to go to therapy to save her ass from DYFS. They're making me go and I really DONT need it, nor do I want it. You'd think they'd notice they're bringing up memories I stored in the back of my mind as another chapter in this hell called life.
And it'd be so 'wrong' if I were to tell my therapist just HOW pissed off my mom and my brother made me today, wouldn't it?
As a matter of fact, that's just what I'm going to do.
I don't care how mad it will make my mom, if I gotta talk to the happy bitch then that's what I do. That's what therapy is for right?
Now I'M in fucking trouble with my mom because my brother wanted to argue with me over the computer and I'm not getting off.
Oh yeah, smack me over a computer but let the boy get off with threatening to kill me in my sleep.
If anything, he should be in intensive anger management or he might just kill somebody some day. That's what I think.
But hey...who cares what a non-stereotypical, 15-year-old black girl has to say anyway, hm?